October 30, 2015 Featured
writing article
Think
for one second about losing someone you’ve loved your whole entire life, you
couldn’t imagine life without them. Until you have no other choice, but to lose
that person due to cancer. Losing a loved one to cancer can be a difficult and
painful time. I know because Cancer is a common disease that is genetically
inherited in my family. Having twin cousins losing their mother at the age of
14 has really affected their emotions and view on life.
Cancer is the leading cause of death
worldwide. There are many causes that prohibit cancer, but one may not think of
the pain and suffering it leaves those behind, due to losing someone over
cancer.
Did
you know over 1 million family suffers from the result of a loved one affected
by cancer? A cancer diagnose changes your life and the lives of people who love
you. At the age of 14, my twin cousins lost their mother, my first aunt, due to
pancreatic cancer. The pain she was going through was unbearable, but the
result of her death was even more intolerable.
“I
didn’t know how I was going to live my life without the only person I looked
too for guidance as to how I should live my life” said Raneil, 21. “It’s
devastating to have to take on adult responsibilities at the age of 14.”
Figuring out
what’s for dinner or what your plans are for the weekend is suddenly less
important. Family and personal values are questioned and priorities are tested
and changed.
I remember when my aunt was down to her last
days; my twin cousins couldn’t hold their emotions together. They didn’t know
what they were going to do, how they were going to live.
At
the age of 14, your thinking about graduating high school, peer pressures
you’re facing to fit in with society, prom etc.. Losing the only person you
know to financially depend on for moral and physical support is the last thing
on your mind.
When a parent has cancer, the impact on the child typically
varies according to their age and gender, say Bruce E. Compas, PhD, professor
of psychology and human development and professor of pediatrics at the
Vanderbilt-Ingram Cancer Center in Nashville, Tenn. Compas found that teenager,
especially adolescent girls, experienced the greatest distress.
During their mother last days, I realized my twin cousins
would miss meals frequently. This resulted in them losing excessive weight.
This was a sign of depression, which could later turn into something even more
serious. Depression lowers a
person’s quality of life, undermining their emotional and physical strength.
“The best way to deal with the after effect is to
communicate, ask questions, and understand the person behavior” Shaneil, 21.
Expect shifts in one’s behavior as they adjust to the changes resulting from
your cancer diagnosis and treatment. Younger children may become overly clingy
or impulsive. Meanwhile, older children or teenagers may become angry or
distant and withdraw from family activities.
When my Aunt found out she was diagnosed with cancer, my twin
cousins quickly became distant. She was now coping with guilt. She was now
feeling guilty over a situation she had no control over.
It is important for someone who is going through the after affect
of losing someone due to cancer, to talk about their feelings and what they’re
experiencing. If one cannot talk to someone close to them, they should consider
talking to someone other than close relatives or friends, or even talking to a counselor or engaging with a support
group would provide a brighter light on the situation. Speaking to someone who
has had a similar experience to you may be helpful.
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